Tables Turned
by AlabasterLily
Summary: James is planning a five day prank fest, and the idiot goes and tells Lily. She tells Dumbledore, and somehow, she ends up planning comeback pranks to give James a taste of his own medicine.
1. Absurdity

**Disclaimer: Any characters you recognize from J.K. Rowling's novel were created by her, not me. Do you really think I would be writing on _Fanfiction _if I was?**

**This is set near the end of the sixth year. I know James and Lily only got together in their seventh year, but I don't want to set it then because that would make me sad. My friend might continue it when I'm done, I'll let you know if she does.**

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><p>Lily giggled and turned around as she heard the familiar clang of metal. James had tripped over the trick suit of armor for the umpteenth time. Smiling and rolling her eyes, she walked over and helped him up.<p>

"James, we're in our second to last year. You should know that it sticks it's foot out now."

Smiling sheepishly, he ran his hands through his hair. "It only trips me, I swear! Probably jealous…"

Lily yanked him up before he could finish and winked at the suit of armor. I t gave her a salute and returned to its former position. "So, what were you rushing to tell me?" James gaped at her, and then recovered. "How do you know these things?"

"Well, you were rushing, I was in the direction you were rushing, and the armor tripped you, your chest was kind of sticking out, and your mouth was hanging kind of open." She'd learned the telltale signs after a while.

"Oh. Well, I was coming to tell you about the Marauder's five day finale. Kind of an introduction to the very last year of pranks."

Lily sighed. James, Sirius, Peter, and somewhat Remus were always planning odd pranks on people. She would have thought they'd have grown out of it by now, but nooo. Instead they'd just used their growing magical knowledge to plan even more intricate tricks. James started to tell her about the first prank.

"In the morning, when all the slimy Slytherin gits wake up, every bit of their clothing will have a picture of a lion eating a snake on them. Remus is helping, and he's making it so that if they try to transfigure their clothes or anything, they get a big red pimple on their forehead." He snickered in delight. Lily rolled her eyes once more (the ceiling was starting to look very familiar) and hurried off towards Dumbledore's office.

"Um, Lils? Where are you going?"

"Class, idiot!"

"It's lunchtime. Sirius asked the house elves, and there's steak and kidney pie!"

"I have to go ask Dumbledore something."

Lily hurried into the corridor that led to Dumbledore's office. "Cauldron Cake." Dumbledore had a new food obsession. The gargoyles jumped aside, and Lily dashed up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. She threw open the door and gasped in embarrassment. He and Slughorn were apparently in the middle of a heated discussion. They both looked up and smile.

"Ah, Lily!" Slughorn cried happily. "Do come sit down."

"Oh, n-no," Lily stammered. "I'm sorry for interrupting, I'll just be-" she made a motion towards the door.

"Oh, no, Miss Evans, it's perfectly all right. Professor Slughorn and I were just discussing which was better- Odgen's Old Firewhisky or Madame Rosmerta's mulled mead. Nothing to worry about." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily.

Lily sat down gingerly. "Oh, all right then. James was just telling me that he and his friends were planning some pranks for the end of the year, and I thought I'd better warn you. I mean, It'd blow up his ego, and it's already as big as a dragon. Tomorrow, he's planning to change all the Slytherin's robes to have a lion eating a snake on them, and-"

"Again, Lily?" Dumbledore sighed. "Well, I can't say it wouldn't be a bit amusing, but-"

"Oh, I have a solution!" Slughorn cut in, waving his glass of Firewhisky in the air. Lily moved back a bit. "Why don't you do something too, Lily? Maybe show them that they aren't the only ones who can pull a good prank."

Lily stuttered in surprise. "M-m-me, Professor? And you'd allow it, sir?" She looked towards Dumbledore.

"My, that would be a nice change." Dumbledore smiled. "As long as it doesn't become anything permanent, my dear. We wouldn't want to lose our darling Lily."

"Dumbledore, you really think Lily would do that? You'd better start planning, my dear," Slughorn said with a smile.

Lily thanked them and rushed out. This hadn't been what she'd planned. Far, far, from it. But maybe, she thought, this could be fun.


	2. Bring it on!

**Disclaimer: Any characters you recognize from J.K. Rowling's novel were created by her, not me. I don't think she'd write on Fanfiction.**

**I know this is really, really short, but I typed this on my iPod on a bus full of eighth graders. For five hours, my friend was pulling my hair and poking me. To make up for this, I'll try to make the next chapter extra long, okay? SORRY!**

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><p>Lily hurried into the Great Hall. Her mind was reeling. Her? Plan pranks? Now that she'd gotten some air, she realized the enormity of the situation. She'd never pranked anyone but Tuney before, and that had only been the bag-of-water-over-the-door trick. She'd definitely need some help. Lily sat down next to Priscilla, her best friend. They had met on the train in their first year, and had been inseparable ever since.<p>

"Cill, you'll never believe what just happened!"

"Let me guess. Something to do with.. James?

Lily smiled. " I suppose that everything has to do with James these days, right? You guessed it. It's a bit of a story, but.."

She told Priscilla everything, starting from the suit of armor, which made her smile.

"Lil, that actually might be fun!"

Lily pondered that. Even though he was her boyfriend, she had to admit he had an enormous ego. It would be fun to show him up. And she was much better at Charms that he was- he could barely wave his wand without messing up. She grinned. "Cill, let's go find Alice."

The two girls found their friend in the library. She was reading a history of space-extending charms and summarizing it, homework that was due the next week. Lily and Priscilla had done half of it the night before and planned to finish hat night. "Alice!" Priscilla whispered loudly. Madam Pince was dusting the ancient biographies nearby, and had shot them an annoyed glance at the soft thuds of their feet. "The oddest thing just happened to Lily!" Priscilla repeated the strange events to Alice, who was extremely amused at the news. "Can I help?" For the third time that hour, Lily was very surprised. "I.. suppose so," she said, wondering what had come over everyone. "Well, he's starting tomorrow, so.."

By the time lunch was over, the girls had planned and diagrammed a foolproof prank.

"Ready for tomorrow?" Lily grinned.


	3. Thinking Pink

I'm so sorry, but this chapter disappeared when I reformatted the story. Basically, Lily and her friends turn the Marauders robes into fluffy pink bathrobes covered in lip prints. I will rewrite and upload the chapter when I have time, but please bear with me for now. Sorry for the inconvenience!


	4. Under the Weather

**Whoops, forgot the disclaimer! I have failed to master the Memory Charm, so I'm unable to make my idol, J.K. Rowling, forget she owns the rights to the best series of books ever created, and bewitch everyone to believe I wrote it. Darn.**

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><p>Lily and her friends excused themselves and hurried to the library, where they huddled around the tiny scroll of parchment. They didn't dare read it aloud for fear of Madam Pince. It read<p>

_Change of plans for __Tuesday: Bewitch the ceiling of the Great Hall so that it looks like it's raining_

_cats and dogs. Might drive today's *incident* out of everybody's heads. Who do you think did this,_

_anyway? Snivellus? _

Lily's expression tightened as she read the last word. She'd never forgive Severus, but she didn't want him to pay for her pranks. Oh, well, the boys would be so distracted by what she next was planning that pranking Severus would be the last thing on their minds. She, Alice, and Priscilla went up to their dorms for free period and started planning. _This next trick would certainly be fun_, she thought, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

The next morning, Alice shook Lily awake and thrust an armful of scrolls at her. Lily jumped up and they performed the Muffliato charm on themselves. It wasn't really necessary- the boys snored like rhinos and slept like logs- but better safe than sorry, right? The girls stifled their giggles and tiptoed into the boys' dormitory.

Lily grimaced as a horrible smell hit her nostrils. Ugh, they were such pigs. Trying not to breathe, she pulled out her wand and started performing her speciality- charms. About a quarter of an hour later, the girls were done. The spell would activate right when they woke up. If they tried to vanish this, it would double in intensity. Stun it? It would double in size. Try to affect someone else with it? Nothing would happen. However- and this was Lily's favorite part- if the boys got too close to each other, thier "surprises" would combine and make them thoroughly miserable.

The girls ran out of the dormitory, sighing in relief as they got to their own. Lily grabbed her freesia essential oil and dabbed a drop right under her nose, so she'd smell it all day... that might not be helpful in potions. She wiped it off and put some on her wrists instead. The girls quickly showered, dressed, and went down to breakfast. The Great Hall had not fared well. It not only looked like a hurricane, despite the day's cheerful weather, but was actually raining cats and dogs. They did disappear about two feet over the tables, but the yowling and barking was quite distracting. Oh well. The Marauders would pay for it soon enough.

To none of the girls' surprise, the boys were late to potions. Slughorn glanced over at Lily, saw her looking at the door, and gave her a knowing smile. She blushed and looked down at her Amortentia. Lily had gotten ahead on her potions, and was now ahead of anyone in the class. She breathed deeply and inhaled the pleasant smell of new parchment, Mum's chocolate fudge, and... was that James' cologne?

_Think of the devil_, she thought to herself as the door burst open. Four soggy, dispirited, cranky boys stalked in, not looking as lofty as usual. Each of them had a raging squall over their head. It poured water, snowed, crackeled with lighting, and occasionally hailed. Lily didn't hate the boys, so she'd made sure that nothing left a mark, they were only embarassed and wet. And embarassed they were. Lily noted with a smile that each was twice the size and intensity as she'd originally planned- they _had _tried to Vanish and Stun them.

The whole class burst into laughter, which may or may not have been helped by their Cheering Conoctions. The boys sat down and tried to start their own, but may have been a bit... under the weather, as their potions failed to force out even a smile.

Throughout the day, the boys couldn't go anywhere without being followed by shouts of laughter. The precipitation evaporated once it hit the floor, so there was no comfort for the boys at all. They suddenly noticed the absence of the three girls. James suddenly looked stunned as it hit him like a ton of feathers.

"_Lily_."

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><p><strong>Sorry I haven't written in so long! I recently got a really nice comment from LittleMissLilyBug, and I finally remembered my poor story. I also had a comment from shadowedlife, sorry I never acknowledged that! So, how is it so far? Please review!<strong>


	5. Curl Up and Dye

**Disclaimer: These are not my characters, except for Priscilla. I did not create Hogwarts, this... I'll stop now, I'm getting too depressed. :(**

**A/N I forgot to mention this before, but it wasn't a big part of the story at that time. Priscilla is a character I created (I hope you knew that already). She's a Metamorphagus, which will be relevant in this chapter.**

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><p>Lily woke up with the distinct feeling that someone had been watching her. She blinked and looked around, but she couldn't see anyone. She stretched and got up to go brush her teeth. She'd wake up Alice and Cill in a minute. As she bent down to the sink, something in the mirror caught her eye. Lily straightened up to get a proper look and almost screamed.<p>

Her hair was neon purple. _James. _That no-good, stupid, idiotic, incredibly annoying ... That was enough for now, she had to focus. Ooh, he was in for it. Just wait until he saw the prank that was waiting for him. She rushed back into the dorm and woke up Alice and Priscilla. They both shrieked at the sight of her, but they hadn't fared any better. The furious girls snuck into the nauseating boys dormitory and were not too surprised to find them missing. Time for Plan B, then.

Alice, Lily, and Priscilla ran giggling back to their dormitory. Alice and Lily tried in vain to charm or transfigure their hair back to normal, but each effort only yielded different colors and textures. Remus. Ooh, she was going to kill that mangy mutt. Priscilla had more luck, however- he hadn't accounted for the fact that she was a Metamorphagus. Soon she was back to normal, and blushed in a what-can-I-do? way when her friends glared at her. Lily settled on neon orange- maybe people wouldn't notice, her hair _was_ orange- and curly, while Alice settled on fluorescent green and kinky.

"Maybe they'll think it's blond?"

Lily and Priscilla assured her that was exactly what people would think while crossing their fingers. Both were furious- the Mauraders _knew _Alice hated to be looked at, and that was exactly what she'd get all day. The boys, especially Sirius and James, loved to be center of attention, and that was all Lily had given them. Well, this prank and the next one they had planned would certainly serve them right. _Meanwhile_, Lily thought, _maybe their hats would help a bit._ But no such luck. The hats just kept slipping off their hair as if it was made of soap. Lily's hands closed around her hat and squeezed it so violently that Alice and Priscilla stared at her.

"What I'm going to do to James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter," she shrugged. They nodded and headed to breakfast, a little comforted by the thought of their next prank.

For the first time, Lily and Alice were the center of attention. Priscilla and Lily tried to shield Alice behind them, but it wasn't much use. Everyone goggled at them as if they were grindylows in a tank. Lily casually flipped her hair behind her and said to a gaping first-year,

"What? Never seen someone with red hair before?" He shrunk back in fright and apparently couldn't decide whether to nod or shake his head, because he ended up doing a sort of figure-eight motion. The girls sat down and glowered into their sausages. Their mood wasn't improved much by the sight of James and Sirius rolling on the floor, while Remus pounded the table with his fist after seeming a bit confused by the normal-seeming Priscilla and Peter emitted a series of high-pitched squeals. Their laughter was soon put to a stop by Professor McGonagall storming towards them.

"JAMES POTTER! SIRIUS BLACK!" The two boys froze, still on the floor. "GET UP THIS INSTANT!" They hastily scrambled up, James putting his elbow into his porridge and Sirius knocking over his pumpkin juice.

"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I WILL NOT TOLERATE FOR THIS KIND OF DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOUR! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS TO BE AMUSING? I WILL HAVE YOU IN DETENTION UNTIL THE DAY YOU LEAVE THIS SCHOOL FOR THIS!" The boys looked confused. Detention for laughing at Lily? Sure, she was the teacher's pet, but this was a bit much. McGonagall grabbed them by the ears and dragged them towards the Charms corridor. The rest of the school followed in an excited throng to see what they had done this time. They were not disappointed. The whole corridor had been transformed into a perfect swamp. The scent of boggy mud filled their nostrils, and the mournful croak of bullfrogs reached their ears. There was a shocked silence, and then everyone burst into laughter, all thought of Lily and Alice forgotten. It was a good thing, too, for the girls disappeared into the bathroom and burst into peals of laughter. For once, James hadn't had anything to do with this. However, the boys weren't off the hook yet- there were two more pranks for today, and about seventy for the rest of the week.

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><p><strong>That's probably the longest chapter I've written. I'm not saying it was long, but for me it was. :D So, how was it? I know the swamp isn't original, but Fred and George are awesome and should be commemmorated, even if it seems like I'm discrediting them. :D Anyway, how was it? Please review and give me any suggestions you have.<strong>


	6. Truth Hurts

**Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not these characters or this setting.**

**A/N: I do own Priscilla though. :) By the way, "à la" means "in style." I always thought (before I took French) that it meant "with ice cream." So wrong. Also, I'm sorry about the inaccuracy with the Head Girl and Boy-ship years, I'll fix it later. I'm getting a bit tired of this story, so you can expect it to be finished in a bit. I hope you aren't annoyed by the little thing I make up with Metamorphagising- I thought it would be fun, although it's probably not very authentic.**

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><p>Lily snickered à la James. She still couldn't get over the fact that the whole staff was helping her do this.<p>

At first, she'd felt a little bad that James was getting in trouble because of her. It wasn't anything new, but her conscience was nagging. Then she'd discovered that Slughorn had let all the other teachers in on the joke. Professor McGonagall was an amazing actress, they'd discovered, and Professor Slughorn wasn't so bad at planning pranks himself. He'd even helped them with their next prank, which would be the best one yet.

Lily added a pinch of shredded lacewings and exhaled. The potion was complete. Professor Slughorn had helped her make adjustments to some Verisaterum he'd given her. She thought she had the theory right, but it never hurt to have a certified potions teacher help. She carefully stirred four times counterclockwise and scooped it into a tiny vial. Lily thanked Professor Slughorn and rushed to the secret passage just outside the lunchroom.

Priscilla and Alice were there, working on their part of the prank. They were going to slip somewhat "modified" Verisaterum into the boys' drinks. With this, they could control what the boys said, making sure that they didn't let anything slip about the girls' involvement in the prank war. The result would be something somewhat similar to the results the Imperius Curse produced, more limited but legal. The hardest part would be putting in the Verisaterum, and that was where Priscilla came in. This was a trick she'd been working on for a long, long time. With her Metamorphagising, she slowly turned each part of her body invisible- or, to be more accurate, the exact color and texture of her surroundings. One might have thought it would be much easier to perform the Disillusionment Charm, but she would still be easily discernable if she moved. Priscilla screwed up her face and concentrated until slowly, her outline blurred and she disappeared. Lily and Alice grinned.

"Great job, Cill!" Lily squealed. "Cill... Cill? Where are you?" She felt something grab her and shrieked. Alice burst out laughing.

"You should have seen the look on your face!" Lily glared at them- or at least glared at Alice and where she thought Priscilla was.

"Here's the Verisaterum... Priscilla Cerne, if you grab me again I will pour this into _your _pumpkin juice." She heard a sigh and saw the air flicker as Priscilla took it from her hand. "Okay, go! We'll distract the boys."

Alice and Lily sat across from the boys. Lily put her bag next to her chair, then bent over and pretended to be very preoccupied looking for a book in it. She pointed her wand under the table at James's and Sirius's pockets in turn and whispered, "Diffindo!" Their pockets burst open, spilling an assortment of Dungbombs, Filibuster's fireworks, sweet wrappers, and several other pleasant things. Alice pulled her up and the four Marauders scrambled to pick up their junk. Lily looked over at their glasses of pumpkin juice and saw four tiny splashes. Not a moment too soon, Priscilla jumped out of the way (they could tell because of how the air shimmered where she had been standing) and the boys got back-or tried to get back- in their chairs. Priscilla had unintentionally moved them out of the way, and the boys fell onto the floor. This was an added bonus- the whole table burst out laughing. James and Sirius reddened and took large swigs of their pumpkin juice. Lily squeezed Alice's hand and she pulled out her wand.

"I, James Potter, would like it to be known that I am a blithering, arrogant, self-worshipping toerag." There was a crash as James jumped onto the table.

"I, Sirius Black, am an attention-seeking prat." His eyes were somewhat glazed over; with luck it wouldn't be noticed. The whole hall sat for a second in shocked silence before bursting into peals of laughter.

Remus and Peter hadn't had any of their juice yet- Lily would fix that soon enough. She gave her wand a complicated, twisting wave under the table and hot air streamed out of it. The two boys began fidgeting and finally sipped their juice. Peter got up onto his chair and yelled,

"I pick my nose!" He started doing the action in question. _Well, that was no surprise, _Lily thought, a bit rudely. She waited for Alice to get Remus. As if she'd willed it with her thoughts, Remus said, with his quiet voice magically magnified,

"I am a-" his eyes clouded over and he shook his head. Lily glanced over to see Alice's look of alarm- she'd almost made Remus spill about his "furry little problem." Remus recovered and continued,

"-Pumpkin Pasty." Lily glared at Alice, who made an apologetic face. The boys continued to make embarrassing confessions, much to the amusement of the whole school.

Finally, the bell rang, and Alice reluctantly let them down. She and Lily grinned at each other and moved back to the secret corridor, and were soon joined by Priscilla, who reappeared the exact image of Lily. Lily glared at her until she changed her hair light brown and curly, and made her skin darker than Lily's, although she left her eyes the trio hugged each other and squealed,

"THAT WAS BRILLIANT!"


	7. Truce

**Disclaimer: Still not J.K. Rowling, or I wouldn't be typing this while sitting on the floor near a treadmill (long story.) Or maybe J.K. Rowling does do that. No, she plays Minesweeper and chews gum.  
><strong>

**I'm very sorry about the delay- I started running out of ideas- not prank ideas, just plot ideas. It's a bit harder to write now that the structure is different, but I'm almost done. I'm about to start two new stories, so I've been working a bit on them.**

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><p>Lily crushed a sprig of peppermint and added it to her Mellowing Mixture. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter slip into the classroom. James took a seat beside her. She didn't look at him; instead she pretended being very interested in stirring her potion in quick, perfectly circular motions.<p>

"Really witty, Evans," came a harsh whisper in her ear. She jumped, surprised, and accidentally splashed some of her potion on James. Oh no... it wasn't finished yet! Oh well, nothing much could happen, and Professor Slughorn was only a few tables away. James's eyes took on a glazed look. A vacant smile appeared on his face, his shoulders relaxed, and his fists unclenched. He leaned back in his chair so far Lily thought he'd fall over, and propped his legs up on the table. Remus looked over and rolled his eyes; Sirius looked as if he wasn't sure whether to glare at Lily or laugh at James; he compromised by scowling but smiling, which made him look a lot like a Muggle devil cartoon. Peter looked terrified. Abandoning his potion, he ran over to him, en route knocking over his cauldron, which in turn knocked over Remus's cauldron, which knocked over Sirius's, which rolled over and tripped Professor Slughorn. It was rather like a game of dominoes, Lily thought through her alarm, even more so when Professor Slughorn pulled himself up using Marlene Parks's cauldron, the contents of which splashed all over him.

The effects of this twisted chain reaction were rather alarming. Peter's potion, which was a poisonous green rather than the dusky rose it should have been, hissed as it ran across the stone floor, leaving large scorch marks. Alice pointed her wand at it and cried, "Evanesco!" It disappeared, thankfully, unlike Peter's last disaster, which wouldn't vanish and had left poor Professor Slughorn with large red rashes for almost a month. Lily attemped to Vanish the rest of the congealing mixture on the floor. Some of the potion disappeared, but the rest remained there, quickly hardening into a foul lump.

"Professor!' Lily cried, hoping he'd be able to do something about it. She looked over and groaned. He was stretched out on the stone floor with his arms behind his head, his face wearing an oddly slack grin. Marlene's potion seemed to have worked a bit too well, although the professor's right leg kept twitching convulsively. The other students had fled- she'd have to manage this herself. Lily turned to Alice, Priscilla, Marlene, and Remus.

"All of you, on three, set the potion-ish thing-" she gestured to the bright orange lump "on fire, wait three seconds, then use _Aguamenti._" Everyone looked doubtful, but nodded- an angrily Lily was not fun to argue with.

"One... two... three!" The horrible mixture of Sirius and Remus's potions burst into flame, making the room uncomfortably hot. Three seconds later, the four had put it out, leaving only a pile of smoldering ashes. Lily wiped her forehead and shouted, "Scourgify!" It worked; the potion was gone, although there was still Professor Slughorn to be reckoned with. Lily dashed over to the supply cupboard and pulled out two bezoars. She could have conocted another potion, but the sooner Professor Slughorn recovered, the better; he was slowly turning purple in the face, somehow still grinning. She pushed one of the little, shriveled-looking stones into his mouth, and he slowly returned to his usual excited flush, and lay still. Lily crossed the room to James and pushed the other bezoar into his mouth; he was looking a bit worse for wear. Whatever Peter had tried, it had done more harm then good; his eyes were half-closed and his breathing was so slow he could be in a coma. The bezoar worked on him too, and soon he and the Professor were sitting up. Slughorn rushed over and congratulated Lily.

"Oh, my dear! That was wonderful thinking, and in such a time! Thirty points to Gryffindor! And ten for you Alice, Priscilla, Marlene, Remus..." He smiled at them. "Well, I'll be getting to the hospital wing now, I'm not as young as I used to be. James, I think you'd better come too. " He set off. James hung back for a moment.

"Lily..."

"WHAT?"

He shrunk back, looking alarmed, but stuck his hand out."Truce?"

She turned even redder, and James wondered whether to put up a shield charm, but Lily took a deep breath and shook his hand.

"Truce."

The pair walked out of the dungeons with their arms around each other, and the rest followed. This, however, didn't put a stop to their bickering.

"This is just so I don't hurt you. I mean, if this had gone on, your pride would have been crushed."

Lily snorted. "_My _pride? Are you serious?"

"No, that would be me," Sirius said, raising his hand.

Everyone burst into laughter.

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><p><strong>It's over, finally it's over. I kind of wanted to finish it soon anyway, and I just thought this wasn't too bad of a place to finish. So, how was it? Review please! And please check my profile page for my next story, it'll be two generations later. Thanks for reading!<strong>


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